This Christmas day my beautiful friend Tanya invited me to spend the day with her and her incredible family. When we arrived she asked all of us to write down our favorite quote on a piece of paper. Each piece of paper was distributed at random on the table so we did not know which one we would get. We were asked to read out the quote and say what it meant to us, followed by what it meant to the person who wrote it. I love this so much by the way 🙂 it was such a beautiful insight into others souls and it taught such valuable lessons too.

The quote that came up for me was

“Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.”

At the time I did not think it was that it really resonated with me that much, but after taking it in for a few days I realise the depth of meaning behind it for me.

What is interesting also for me, is that the person who would have read this years ago would have most definitely viewed the word baggage as something negative, as something they were carrying around with them, as something heavy and that anyone else would not want, that it made me undesirable because I was different, cracked, damaged, imperfect and extra weight to carry.

I now see all of the things that have hurt me, made me feel like I was broken, where I felt weak and in pieces have just made the person I am today all the more unique. That I do not view any of those things as heavy, undesirable baggage anymore, but as beautiful elements of the complex, detailed soul I carry within me. I rebuilt the pieces into something more beautiful, because I have chosen to see it that way.

I have just started reading a book that a good friend of mine introduced to me. It is around Japanese beliefs, thoughts and philosophy and it talks about Wabi Sabi, this is the philosophy that true beauty exists only in the imperfect, impermanent and incomplete.

“It is the worldview that places value on the transient, unfinished and imperfect nature of life. It sees beauty in the rough edges of both people and things. It is at peace with what is. It values all that is real and authentic, finding joy and fulfilment in the good, bad and ugly rather than longing for the unattainable fantasies of the ideal”……I love this thought, this philosophy, it is so powerful and poetic.

To me it is about releasing the need to try to hide who we truly are, embracing every crack, every imperfection and showing it authentically to the world, to stop trying to fit into something we are not or to hide the supposed “baggage” from anyone else for the ones who truly love you will not view it as that, they will see it as what it is. The most beautiful parts of you, for they make you uniquely, beautifully, perfectly imperfectly you.

I know that previously I tried to fit into something I was not; I denied or did not fully embrace all the beautifully imperfect parts of me who made me who I was. I did not go out into the world fully as me, rather a dimmed version that I thought I should be, that the world around me could understand. Rather than loving, really loving those different parts of me. I tried to fit in, to cover up those cracks.

In this beautiful book they talk about ‘Kintsukuroi’. This is a technique, where broken bowls are not disregarded and thought of as useless, instead they are repaired and not just repaired with the cracks trying to be hidden, but they use gold to highlight and fill the cracks.

The cracks become part of the beauty of the object, drawing attention to them, we have all been broken but it is how we rebuild ourselves that matters, it is embracing those imperfect parts of us and seeing them as perfect just as they are and making something more beautiful, not less. Also knowing that the right person will also see them in exactly the same way, nothing to hide, seeing the gold in your cracks, realty seeing who they have made you now, and wanting to see you wear them, loving every part of you.

These cracks are our gift, our signature, our perfection and when we just need to find the courage to share them authentically with the world. Because after all what is perfection? What are we chasing? What are we chasing it for? When we release those thoughts, those goals we can really begin to live.

Post tattoo writing

Everything you just read above was written and came through me moments before went to get two tattoos. One of those tattoos was of Jonathan Livingston seagull on my shoulder.

For anyone who has not read the book Jonathan Livingston seagull, it is a beautiful story about a Seagull who didn’t fit in. He felt different to everyone else, he questioned life and why he had to fit in the box of life and something told him deep within his soul that there was more to life. So he pushed outside the boundaries and stepped outside the norm into what he knew he was capable of, into what was waiting for him and what he was destined for.

All the other seagulls told him he could not fly faster or higher than a certain speed but Jonathan had other ideas! Why do we have limits? He flew faster and higher than any other seagull in history. He flew amongst the stars in space!

“Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you’ll see the way to fly.”
– Richard Bach

Jonathan was about daring to be different, learning to love your different and embrace it fully and not limiting what you are capable of in life, knowing that we create that within our minds. It was a book my mum bought for me, she also has Jonathan tattooed on her and so this signified so much for me, it was so important and meaningful.

Then guess what happened……I got him tattooed on my shoulder, a tattoo I had wanted for a long time and it worked out pretty badly, you cant even tell it is a seagull, sometimes people do not even know it is a bird (yep its bad) I literally wanted to cry, how could this happen! I now have this on me forever, how could this happen! Kind of ironic when you think about it! I now have a permanent imperfection on my skin and I have to see it every single day knowing it is imperfect and different.

After not sleeping for the entire night and totally freaking myself out about it, after running over and over it in my head and causing myself pain. I finally had to come to a new conclusion. I understand fully that our perceptions in life create our reality and I could not let a bad tattoo steal my joy, steal my experience of life, so how could I change this event in my life, change my perception and make it work for me? What lessons could I take from this? What good could I see in it?

I had to change my story about the tattoo of a seagull that no one can recognize and looks like a chicken bone, I had to change it or let it take some joy from my life so I just decided, just like that, into me seeing it as perfectly imperfect, in seeing the beauty of it, in really seeing Jonathan Livingston Seagul!

Being given the gift of learning to love something that is permanently on my body that is imperfect and different, kind of ironic with what I was writing about just before I got the tattoo done and what Jonathan represents. It is like the universe gave me an exact representation of Jonathan on my body and I am having to change my story about and I am laughing as I write this because it sounds nuts but what other choice do I have? I literally went from writing about imperfection just before I got my Tattoo to making it a living part of me.

How do I not want to feel in this moment I thought…..I don’t want to feel upset and regret, so what do I want to feel? I want to feel joy, growth and love. So I just decided that is how I would feel, I changed my story.

I genuinely especially over the last day have been really seeing the joy in it and learning to embrace the imperfection of it, it kind of makes me smile when I see it now. I am thankful of the lesson, as it has forced me to see my broken, imperfect, different tattoo and other imperfect parts of me as liquid gold that fills those cracks.

I understand so deeply that these are the parts of us that make us interesting, the bits that make us uniquely and beautifully ourselves. Yes it is not ideal that I now have a permanent tattoo on my body that does not look like anything just a thick line but what can I do now to bring myself to a better feeling and that is quite simply love it for what it is.

Do not fear imperfection, embrace every different part of you and everything that took you to this exact moment in time, thank it, for it has made you who you are, it might even make a funny story or two ;), live authentically and sincerely and do not hide parts of you because the right people will love you for all of those things.

Little exercise-

As you know I love writing, I feel it saved my life in so many ways and I would love to share a little exercise with you that I love to use with clients and in my workshops. So before 2018 arrives, as a way of moving into the new year I would like you to write down the different and imperfect parts of you, things that may have happened and your life that you once didn’t love or you thought of as cracks and baggage and now rewrite your story, write why you love them, why other people will love them, how you can love them, reach for a higher thought, write how you can thank them for bringing you to this moment in time, what light can you see in them and also how you can take something you once disliked and find the beauty in it, see how perfectly imperfect you are, see the beauty in your cracks and see how they are gold.

So much love and light! Here is to an incredible 2018

Han xxx